I want to talk about food

I want to talk about food.
But only talk, I swear, not eat.
I want to consume diet tips and tricks
And chew the fat over fat content,
And ruminate over restrictions –
And swallow my tears when the scale stays the same.

I want to talk about food.
But only talk, I swear, not eat.
I want to tuck into my macros calculations
And slavour over paleo blogs
And dribble drivel about fasted cardio –
And word-vomit about health to my comrades.
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I want to talk about food.
But only talk, I swear, not eat.
I want to inhale calorie limits,
And feast on Victoria’s Secret meal plans
And gorge myself on fitspo hashtags –
And choke on the shame of my secret binges.

I want to talk about food.
But only talk, I swear, not eat.
I want to rabbit on about rabbit food
And indulge in demonizing sugar
And pig-out on the idea of a thigh-gap
And stuff myself with fear of social events –
And devour hatred when I witness my reflection.
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I want to talk about food.
But only talk – I swear.
I want to fill my plate with other people’s ideas
Of how my figure should be shaped,
And gobble up my alone time
With thoughts of what I should have eaten,
And how much I should hate myself
Because I broke my promise of
“Just one piece.”

I want to talk about food
And be the broad-board for your strokes
Chalking up my body’s worth:
My exponential potential
That happens to correlate
With my diminishing mass.
It’s just science, sweetie.

Oh god, please don’t mention sweets-
I’m trying to only talk about food.

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2 thoughts on “I want to talk about food

  1. I’ve just read your whole page Rachel- God you are so talented ! I was very moved..in fact to tears..
    I love Swans !
    You have so much to be proud of and stand head and shoulders above the rest !
    LOve youXXX

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